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yesterday was certainly eventful. there were storms everywhere!

in my life and in mother nature.

krista nd the baby are gone, she says they are in atlanta but nothing seems to fit. myabe hey are. they are with tony and that is dangerous.....i don't know hwn i will evre see them again, or talk to them. i wasn't all nicey - nicey on the phone with her and she got mad. should i have pretended that i was ok with this thing she's doing?

joe's family are absolutey inbelievable!

the next thing you know they will say that it is my fault that he has cancer! his daughter, the spoiled brat, disrespects him and me. she makes things worse with "the sisters" by her actions. joe wasted several hours talking to her last night and trying to convince her that her loyalties lie with him. is she just stupid or are her actions a result of imaturity.

after the extremely long phone call with the spoiled brat he had another phone call to his neice, trying to justify our lives to her.

i am so sick of this! my family has been awesome, calling etc......

i spend my time out in the yard a lot, mowing weeding, planting.....trying to bring some beauty and life here! it really sucks because the stuff i want to do is all on hold.......

last year was hard when i lost my job; with joe bitching at me constantly about getting another job and nothing being available and still more bitching and added stress! no "don't worry about honey, i make enough money to pay the bills". it was a constant barage of "why don't you have a job", "why isn't the house spotless", etc........, it was hard fro me to even get up in the morning, hard to concentrate on school, hard to do anything.......

i was doubting myself as a person of any value.................

things have changed since joe's diagnosis, he's not bitching at me about a job anymore, because i am taking care of him when he is having chemo and making sure that his meds are ok, making sure that he is eating.....blah , blah , blah...........

and what about me? i guess i'm just the oerson with the big shoulders...............