community w

I believe last sunday we heard a Rolling Stones and Lenny kravits song what were the titles of the songs? I loved it!!!

There is a lyric in the musical Pippin that says: "Let me tell you all the story of a sorrowful lad, had everything he wanted, didn't want what he had." Why does this resonate so profoundly in today's society? Why are we as a species so prone to thinking the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Why do we always want more? And more importantly, why do we always seem to want what we know we cannot have? God wants us to be content with what He has provided, and by all rights we should be. Why, then do we frequently go out of our way, and often self destructively, to get what we do not have? In all fairness, while this is a prevalent  problem in today's society, it is hardly a new phenomenon. You can trace this thought back to the Garden of Eden. Even in the time of King Solomon people wanted more. Not even the king himself was immune, denying himself nothing. But we are fortunate enough to benefit from King Solomon's example, and wisdom. Solomon filled his life with every treasure and presumably every pleasurable experience known in that day. Did the wisest and wealthiest man in the world give us a running tabulation on his experiences? Did he rank them on a scale from 1 - 10? No. Solomon had the same comment for each one, "this too was meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Now does this mean that we are to sell all of our possessions and live like hermits? I really don't think so. However, these passages  are pretty clear on what our priorities should be. I mean, do we really need the X-Station Whee  3000 game system with the 52 inch, flat panel TV? No. Frankly, my three daughters are just as happy playing Pacman. Would they like something bigger? Sure, but they are happy with what they have. One of the biggest hazards of leading a dissatisfied life is losing your focus. Instead of looking toward Heaven, and thanking and praising God for all He has done for us, we focus on what we can do ourselves to bring more stuff in to our life. Comedian Steven Wright once said "you can't have everything , where would you put it?"  Another fallback to dissatisfaction is the temptation to take short cuts. We see it all the time, whether it is CEO's committing corporate crime, or young hoodlums selling crack on the corner, the root cause is the same, taking a short cut to get the things you think are going to make you happy. The Bible warns us, "what benefit a man if he should gain the world but lose his soul?"  It is particularly relevant in this Christmas season, when we are bombarded with the message that our lives would be happier if we just bought this one thing. It is important  that we step back and take a moment to reflect. Just reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. Not the 'black friday' shop till  you drop meaning. Not even the Currier and Ives white Christmas, warm fire, family, friends and food meaning . But the TRUE meaning of Christmas, that 2000 years ago a child was born of a virgin. A child who grew up, felt pain, and knew suffering unlike any of us may ever know. A child  that cleansed the world with His blood, a child named Jesus. That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown...

Thank you to everyone that has given us your prayers and your help. Our little bundle of joy was born September 28th, 2007 at 6:18pm. She weighed 6pounds 2 ounces and was 19 inches long. She had to stay 4 days in the special care nursery but got to come home on October 2nd. Life has been intresting since we have came home. Mariah likes to be up more at night than during the day. We are starting to get our routine back down for the homeschooling also. Since Marcus fell behind in school the past few weeks, he is in like this massive overdrive to catch up. Today he had a stupid show cause hearing for child support so hopefully he can get somewhere with that, but we will see. Thank you again to everyone...

            I can't think of a time I didn't believe in God.  I had a wrong belief but I did believe.  As a child I called on him all the time.  My mother left about the time I was four and my dad was a train wreck for many years after.  Needless to say my security shattered pretty quick.   Over the years God has brought to mind many times a part of my childhood that I love to reflect on.

              Sometimes when I would visit my baba (grandma, of course) my friend Carol would be visiting her grandma next door as well.  Sometimes we would play outside and teeter totter our little hearts out.  BUT, there were special times when I would be allowed inside to color.  We would sit in a little room at a table looking right out the window with the sun beating in on our coloring book.  We would agree on a page we both liked and would color out of the same book.  I remember her mother would be in the kitchen and the rest of the family would be laughing and talking.  To me it was a time I would actually feel safe, happy and maybe get a little taste of family.   It was just the best feeling and a special gift from God like water in the middle of a desert.

               So many times I think of those carefree times sitting hip to hip giggling with my friend coloring, and for a few minutes the world was good.  Life has continued to be difficult over the years, but for all of those hurting people I wish there was a way to invite them to sit hip to hip with me in the little room with the sun beating on our pictures and we can just giggle.   Thanks God, for those pieces of heaven you show us.

      Things I hate:   complaining, back biting, gossiping, .......

       Things I need to work on:  complaining, back biting, gossip...

       In the last few years I have gotten more aggressive in my search for God's heart.  I tell God to use me, and when He tries to I feel as though He's interrupted my agenda. (need work there)   It's so easy to fill our lives with our lists.  Because I am so inclined to be a recluse and avoid relationships it's difficult to step out of this rut.   So this is a good place to start since no one looks at it!!!!!!!   Actually this blog is not well thought out as I'm in a hurry to go work,BUT I have been at WW for 20 years and at one time was very active.   When I look at all God has done in that time, and I look at the people commited to WW, (Staff and attendees) alike, I'm amazed.(in a good way)  But being a natural observer, I see some unrest in our body.   My prayer is, when we hear the complaining, back biting and gossip that we'll not be part of it and be bold enough to direct the conversation in such a way as to defuse what's happening.   We are all in the same battle so we don't need to shoot our own people.  So let's help protect what God has seen fit to allow us.  Just a thought.  Off to work........love you all (both of you) 

I woke up this morning and was getting ready to go to my stepmom's mothers funeral and somethind told me to look outside. I had a really bad feeling. When I looked outside, I noticed something was missing.....our van....our only vehicle. We got it repossesed for being behind on our payments. So I called to find out where the van was so we could get our belongings. Our van is all the way in Saginaw and Not only do we have to find a ride up there but I have to pay $50.00 to retrieve OUR belongings out of it. And on top of that we have to hope they get everything out and dont take anything because were not aloud to have any contact with the vehicle.

All of our freedom out of this house was taken from us. Now I have to find weekly rides to my doctors aappt.'s and marcus has to find rides out to the college 3 times a week. We even have to depend on sombody to take us grocery shopping and to get diapers and anything else thats involves going out of the house. Talk about being kicked down even farther. I have no idea what are we going to do. No vehicle with 5 kids and soon to be 6? I wish there was an organization that would donate a van or subburn or something....This sucks!!!

Well another sunday went by that I had to miss. Even though I caught it live it still wasnt the same. I missed hearing Jvo today but he is only human and does need a break sometimes. Daves message was really good today, although it always is, I really enjoyed todays. I wonder how Randy is doing. He is in my thoughts and prayers along with his family. I go to the doctors tomorrow for my weekly check up. As the days go by I get more discouraged because I am not feeling any better but worse. My heart goes out to my hubby Marcus right now cause it seems like he has the weight of the world on his back. He starts college full time August 20th and has to try to manange to get some kind of income coming in along with trying to study. I wish I could do something to help make the load a little easier for him. Calebs 7th birthday is next month on the 19th and zachs 3rd is on the 7th and with trying to figure out what to do with baby items, rent, consumers, and the van payment just gets to be to much at times. Sometimes crying seems to be the only thing I can do. I know I need to trust god that everything will work out but its just so much stress and finanical stuff that needs to be taken care of before october, I dont feel right even thinking of putting that much burden on him. Everyone says he will not give you more that you can handle but I dont even feel like I can handle all this as it is. I have to admit as much as I hate to, I get angry at times. I cant help but wonder why this stuff happens. I dont think he makes it happen but it seems like he could prevent it. My job was going so good. We were starting to get caught up and then I get taken off on bedrest and we just fall right back even darker into a black hole and its hard to see the light, any kind of a good outcome. What am I missing? Am I not doing something right that is bringing this onto myself? i just dont have any answers. Just tears and discouragment. Thoughts that by October we will lose the van, or no way to pay rent, or the power will be shut off, or I will not have anything for the baby. I keep thinking about what terry younkin said that everything is just a bandiad, just temporary to the big problem. I dont like the person that this discouragment is making me. Im tired of being sad, and negitive and not having any hope anymore. I feel like I not only have hit rock bottom but keep bouncing off of it over and over again. God please give me strength to get through this horriably difficult time right now because I know that even though my heart and faith isnt where it should be, only your strength and love is going to get me through this time in my life. Niki

Sometimes when you think things cant get any worse, something seems to happens to prove you wrong. I am going to take a few minutes to ask for as much help as I can get. For those of you that read my last blog, you are aware of the things we have been going through this last month. I went back to the doctors tuesday with hopes of being taken off of bedrest so I can help get some money coming back into the household. But at my appt. I found out that was not going to happen until after I have the baby. Im having a big problem now with pre term labor along with everything else. Here is the problem.... We had to get rid of pretty much everything after our last baby and unfortunitly need to start over, with no funds to do so. I went online and did a online baby registry with target and walmart( online cause its to hard to walk around the store and do it). Since I was not able to go to the store, there is no place online to mark for diapers or wipes so I would have put pampers swaddlers size newborn and size one. If it sounds like I am desperate for help, you are right, I am. We have nothing that is on our registry and not even one pack of diapers and with the possiabilty of her coming next month im starting to get a little freaked out. For those of you that could help us out and for those of you who cant and can just offer us prayers to get through this and to hopefully figure it out, words cannot express my grattitude. Thank you so much for taking a few minutes out to read this. I tried to come to church 2 weeks ago and had to get up and leave in the middle of it so i have been catching it live. I am hoping though that I will be feeling a little better one of these sundays to make it in. I miss everyones smiles and hugs. But if not everyone is in my thoughts and prayers

Niki Rutan